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Thanks for dropping in. Liv 4 Today started out as mostly an infertility blog covering topics related to our journey and reflections on living through it. Things changed when on our fourth (and final) IVF transfer, we were finally blessed with a miracle. Beau William was born in August of 2017 and so our journey transitioned from one of infertility, to motherhood. Infertility will always be part of me, and it affects motherhood in ways that

I couldn’t imagine. Join us for this wild ride!



February 4, 2018

December 24, 2016

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December 21, 2016

So of course I tested, and of course it was negative… Yesterday I tested just for kicks because I found an old expired first response digital test. Thought it would be fun and didn’t want to use it when I was hoping to trust the result since it’s expired. It was negative, as expected. Not only was it not first morning urine (as recommended) but it was also only 4 days past my 5 day transfer… so very early.

Then this morning I was scared to test, but caved because I had a first response early result (that I found along with the digital) that wasn’t expired and if anything was going to give me an accurate result the earliest it would be that test. Unfortunately it came up negative again, as did my cheap internet test strip. I had a cry, then talked myself out of my funk as best I could. It is only 5 days past the 5 day transfer after all.

I actually was chuckling to myself… I’ve been watching Friends (as I often do) and recently watched the episode when Phoebe transfers Frank & Alice’s emb...

December 19, 2016

Ugh. For anyone trying to conceive they know this term. Or perhaps more widely used is the acronym “The 2WW”. With IVF the wait is a little shorter than a full two weeks generally speaking. When I lived in Canada though, beta was scheduled something ridiculous like 16 days past transfer. At the time even my logical brain couldn’t wrap around that… but also being part of so many forums where women in the states were having betas at 9 days past their transfers, it really just felt cruel. See 9 days past transfer of a 5 day embryo is the equivalent to a full 2 weeks from conception. So in a natural cycle a home pregnancy test (hpt) would be accurate, or you’d be getting a visit from good ole Aunt Flo. Neither of my cycles in Canada did I even make it to beta, as I experienced breakthrough bleeding that led to early testing and negative results, so we stopped meds before even reaching our official test date.

Our most recent fresh cycle of IVF in New York earlier this year, we also tested ea...

December 15, 2016

An embryo transfer is an exciting event. But it’s also one filled with a host of other emotions including fear, anxiety, hope, and very often, desperation. Generally speaking, when a couple reaches the stage of transferring an embryo (or embryos) they’ve already gone through so much to get to that point. Not counting the months or years of trying unsuccessfully prior to fertility treatments (or the many invasive exams to formulate a diagnosis…) by the time of embryo transfer, a couple has endured countless appointments, injections, medications, bills, and procedures. Most significantly perhaps being the egg retrieval which can leave many women with a serious diagnosis of OHSS (ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome) and more unwanted delays or risks.

But then finally, here they are at that precious moment of bringing their “embabies” (get it… embryo babies…) home in utero. It’s an exciting time, and the infertility support community congratulates them in excitement proclaiming their ne...

December 1, 2016

This letter is one we’ve thought of writing before. The things we have wanted to express have perhaps been expressed in other ways over the years to those closest to us, so it never really felt necessary. But today we are opening ourselves up in a bigger way, and laying it all out on the line like this is taking us a great deal of courage.

See infertility is a painfully taboo subject. It’s taboo because no one talks about it. When someone does have the courage to open themselves up, the response they receive is quite often discouraging. Stunned silence. Unsolicited advice or stories. An uncomfortably bad joke and hasty change of subject. So the couple going through it naturally shies away from dealing with those encounters in the future. The person having said something doesn’t know what they did wrong, or often too what they’ve done right goes unmentioned! And thus the cycle is left to continue on unchanged. This conversation conundrum is no one participant’s “fault”, but rather a culm...

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