INQUIRIES

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Thanks for dropping in. Liv 4 Today started out as mostly an infertility blog covering topics related to our journey and reflections on living through it. Things changed when on our fourth (and final) IVF transfer, we were finally blessed with a miracle. Beau William was born in August of 2017 and so our journey transitioned from one of infertility, to motherhood. Infertility will always be part of me, and it affects motherhood in ways that

I couldn’t imagine. Join us for this wild ride!

MIRACLES HAPPEN

EVERY DAY

February 4, 2018

December 24, 2016

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January 4, 2017

So I woke up this morning feeling “less pregnant” than I have in a long time. I had energy, my boobs weren’t sore, I just felt kind of just fine… of course this was incredibly unsettling. The first thing I did when I popped out of bed was take a home pregnancy test hoping to ease my mind. Well that was a fail. It was lighter than it was 2 days ago.

Now I will admit, my afternoon tests seem to be consistently darker than morning tests. I’m not sure if that’s in some way due to the suppositories overnight, or my natural hormone fluctuations. Regardless an afternoon test from 2 days ago (well 1.5 if we’re being anal) in my mind should have been very similar to a morning test today. Perhaps I’m wrong, and a friend of mine tried to reassure me that she experienced the same thing and to not trust the sticks but it’s so very very hard.

That being said, many women have suggested I get a third beta to make sure my levels are rising appropriately so I finally caved and asked my RE (reproductive en...

December 25, 2016

So today is 9 days past our transfer, and if not for the holidays, would have been the day that we had our first beta. It sucks that we have to wait a couple extra days because of holiday hour closures etc. but in the end, a few days isn’t the end of the world. Feels that way a little bit right now simply because I’m so full of anxiety, but time will pass and next thing I know we’ll be anxiously awaiting beta #2.

That’s how it works anyway right!? Once you’re past one milestone, you’re simply worrying about the next… and the next… and the next. It’s never ending. If I can learn to let go a little bit now it’ll only serve me better in the long run. But it’s hard. Very hard.

See the thing about battling infertility is that you feel as though your body has failed you. You lack trust in your system knowing what to do, and also in its ability to do it. So yes I’m pregnant, but for that reason I’m struggling to really accept and enjoy it. Instead I’m filled with doubts about the viability, dou...

December 24, 2016

Guys… GUYS… it happened. I finally got my BFP!!! What!?!?! Never have I ever been blessed to see a second line. Not once in my life, and certainly not once in our 5 years actively TTC (trying to conceive). Shocking and exciting and nerve wracking and so many other things!

Check out our reactions and us sharing the long awaited news with family and friends below:

I had definitely been losing hope, and I think part of me simply couldn’t believe we’d ever get our happy ending after being disappointed time and time again. But on the flip side, perhaps that was just my way of guarding my heart. We protect ourselves the best we can I suppose.

Anyways, our lines have been getting progressively darker which is encouraging and I’ve been feeling increasingly unwell which is also welcomed as it gives me hope that all is progressing well.

It is obviously VERY early and there is always a risk for a chemical or miscarriage, so we really are trying to take it day by day, but we’ve never once made it this...

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