INQUIRIES

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Thanks for dropping in. Liv 4 Today started out as mostly an infertility blog covering topics related to our journey and reflections on living through it. Things changed when on our fourth (and final) IVF transfer, we were finally blessed with a miracle. Beau William was born in August of 2017 and so our journey transitioned from one of infertility, to motherhood. Infertility will always be part of me, and it affects motherhood in ways that

I couldn’t imagine. Join us for this wild ride!

MIRACLES HAPPEN

EVERY DAY

February 4, 2018

December 24, 2016

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FEATURED POSTS

March 11, 2017

It’s been a long hard journey to get to this point, and I genuinely believed that once I entered the elusive second trimester, I’d feel better. I’d feel relieved or encouraged, or maybe even confident. Unfortunately, infertility has left more scarring than I once imagined, and my fears of my body failing me are more deep rooted than can be described.

A few weeks ago we had our 12 week ultrasound. All went very well, baby’s heart was beating away and was measuring “on track” (at least, consistent with being behind in the first place). We were relieved for that moment in time. We made it to 12 weeks! That felt like a huge accomplishment. They drew our blood for NIPT (non-invasive prenatal testing) and sent that off and I was feeling pretty sure that all would come back clear for abnormalities and we would celebrate the gender and be well on our way through this pregnancy.

The wait wasn’t as torturous for me as it seemed to be for Eric. While I took reassurance from my gut telling me the re...

January 3, 2017

First off, it’s been a while since I last posted so in case you’re wondering about beta #2 it almost doubled and came in at 379. I would have loved to have gotten at least a doubling rate within 48 hours but this is still very strong progression and promising for sure. My first ultrasound will hopefully be next Monday but I didn’t previously have an OB so getting an appointment has been tricky.

It’s been interesting this last week since our second beta… I’ve been anxious, happy, hopeful and downright scared. When I say this, a lot of people don’t understand. Everyone goes through some anxiety in early pregnancy people might argue, and that is very true, but what those who have never suffered with infertility don’t understand is just how magnified it is for those of us who struggled so significantly to get to this point in the first place. Fear is fear, and I don’t mean to discount anyone’s journey. We are each navigating our own paths and our feelings are valid. But what I try to make p...

December 25, 2016

So today is 9 days past our transfer, and if not for the holidays, would have been the day that we had our first beta. It sucks that we have to wait a couple extra days because of holiday hour closures etc. but in the end, a few days isn’t the end of the world. Feels that way a little bit right now simply because I’m so full of anxiety, but time will pass and next thing I know we’ll be anxiously awaiting beta #2.

That’s how it works anyway right!? Once you’re past one milestone, you’re simply worrying about the next… and the next… and the next. It’s never ending. If I can learn to let go a little bit now it’ll only serve me better in the long run. But it’s hard. Very hard.

See the thing about battling infertility is that you feel as though your body has failed you. You lack trust in your system knowing what to do, and also in its ability to do it. So yes I’m pregnant, but for that reason I’m struggling to really accept and enjoy it. Instead I’m filled with doubts about the viability, dou...

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