INQUIRIES

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Thanks for dropping in. Liv 4 Today started out as mostly an infertility blog covering topics related to our journey and reflections on living through it. Things changed when on our fourth (and final) IVF transfer, we were finally blessed with a miracle. Beau William was born in August of 2017 and so our journey transitioned from one of infertility, to motherhood. Infertility will always be part of me, and it affects motherhood in ways that

I couldn’t imagine. Join us for this wild ride!

MIRACLES HAPPEN

EVERY DAY

February 4, 2018

December 24, 2016

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December 28, 2016

So yesterday was beta day and the results came in. It was a long day of waiting, and following up, and waiting, but eventually I got an email from my clinic telling me the results were “positive” (which I was assuming) and that the HCG was 192. My progesterone was in the 50s which was also reassuring. So it was good news.

I had hoped my beta number at 11dp5dt would be a bit higher than it was, but I think that’s just me being greedy wanting reassurance. In reality, beta numbers don’t really indicate much, it’s the doubling factor that is more important. So of course now there’s nothing to do but wait until Thursday (Dec 29) to get my repeat blood work and see if the pregnancy appears to be viable. In the meantime I had to google beta numbers for reassurance and found an excellent reference HERE if you’re interested.

Given my current beta of 192, I should hope for anything above 300 on Thursday. They want to see a doubling every 48-72 hours (or 60% minimum increase in 48 hrs). So ide...

December 25, 2016

So today is 9 days past our transfer, and if not for the holidays, would have been the day that we had our first beta. It sucks that we have to wait a couple extra days because of holiday hour closures etc. but in the end, a few days isn’t the end of the world. Feels that way a little bit right now simply because I’m so full of anxiety, but time will pass and next thing I know we’ll be anxiously awaiting beta #2.

That’s how it works anyway right!? Once you’re past one milestone, you’re simply worrying about the next… and the next… and the next. It’s never ending. If I can learn to let go a little bit now it’ll only serve me better in the long run. But it’s hard. Very hard.

See the thing about battling infertility is that you feel as though your body has failed you. You lack trust in your system knowing what to do, and also in its ability to do it. So yes I’m pregnant, but for that reason I’m struggling to really accept and enjoy it. Instead I’m filled with doubts about the viability, dou...

December 24, 2016

Guys… GUYS… it happened. I finally got my BFP!!! What!?!?! Never have I ever been blessed to see a second line. Not once in my life, and certainly not once in our 5 years actively TTC (trying to conceive). Shocking and exciting and nerve wracking and so many other things!

Check out our reactions and us sharing the long awaited news with family and friends below:

I had definitely been losing hope, and I think part of me simply couldn’t believe we’d ever get our happy ending after being disappointed time and time again. But on the flip side, perhaps that was just my way of guarding my heart. We protect ourselves the best we can I suppose.

Anyways, our lines have been getting progressively darker which is encouraging and I’ve been feeling increasingly unwell which is also welcomed as it gives me hope that all is progressing well.

It is obviously VERY early and there is always a risk for a chemical or miscarriage, so we really are trying to take it day by day, but we’ve never once made it this...

December 21, 2016

So of course I tested, and of course it was negative… Yesterday I tested just for kicks because I found an old expired first response digital test. Thought it would be fun and didn’t want to use it when I was hoping to trust the result since it’s expired. It was negative, as expected. Not only was it not first morning urine (as recommended) but it was also only 4 days past my 5 day transfer… so very early.

Then this morning I was scared to test, but caved because I had a first response early result (that I found along with the digital) that wasn’t expired and if anything was going to give me an accurate result the earliest it would be that test. Unfortunately it came up negative again, as did my cheap internet test strip. I had a cry, then talked myself out of my funk as best I could. It is only 5 days past the 5 day transfer after all.

I actually was chuckling to myself… I’ve been watching Friends (as I often do) and recently watched the episode when Phoebe transfers Frank & Alice’s emb...

December 19, 2016

Ugh. For anyone trying to conceive they know this term. Or perhaps more widely used is the acronym “The 2WW”. With IVF the wait is a little shorter than a full two weeks generally speaking. When I lived in Canada though, beta was scheduled something ridiculous like 16 days past transfer. At the time even my logical brain couldn’t wrap around that… but also being part of so many forums where women in the states were having betas at 9 days past their transfers, it really just felt cruel. See 9 days past transfer of a 5 day embryo is the equivalent to a full 2 weeks from conception. So in a natural cycle a home pregnancy test (hpt) would be accurate, or you’d be getting a visit from good ole Aunt Flo. Neither of my cycles in Canada did I even make it to beta, as I experienced breakthrough bleeding that led to early testing and negative results, so we stopped meds before even reaching our official test date.

Our most recent fresh cycle of IVF in New York earlier this year, we also tested ea...

December 15, 2016

An embryo transfer is an exciting event. But it’s also one filled with a host of other emotions including fear, anxiety, hope, and very often, desperation. Generally speaking, when a couple reaches the stage of transferring an embryo (or embryos) they’ve already gone through so much to get to that point. Not counting the months or years of trying unsuccessfully prior to fertility treatments (or the many invasive exams to formulate a diagnosis…) by the time of embryo transfer, a couple has endured countless appointments, injections, medications, bills, and procedures. Most significantly perhaps being the egg retrieval which can leave many women with a serious diagnosis of OHSS (ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome) and more unwanted delays or risks.

But then finally, here they are at that precious moment of bringing their “embabies” (get it… embryo babies…) home in utero. It’s an exciting time, and the infertility support community congratulates them in excitement proclaiming their ne...